Always consciously wary of how the highest of highs is closely followed by the lowest of lows. Referred to as ‘The Comedown’. It’s a killer. This is why I have chosen to no longer seek happiness unless its eternal and infinite. I can’t take it anymore. Some may view this as me running. They may see this as me giving up on happiness. Something that would shock and devastate my past self. We all know it gets really bad before it gets really good. I mean there will be storms but eventually the sun will come out. Sad truth and reality is that it’s never not going to rain. Ya feel? I’ve been here before. I’ve been to this place. I lived in this frame of mind. It’s miserable, cold and dark but its also kind of feels like my home.
I tend to just stew in sorrow. I walk across bridges with intention to jump. Quite often i find myself diving into sadness. Happiness is the destination. I’ve set up camp in the half way town called darkness. Take me home.